Friday, November 12, 2010

Narrative Writing: The Enchanted Anklet

Oli and Maya got a book cover with a picture of a foot with an anklet on it. Here is their orientation and problem. Leave them a comment if you'd like to read the ending...

The Enchanted Anklet

Once upon a time there was a beautiful princes. Her name was Angelina. She lived in a palace with her mother and father and she was a really happy girl. She always listened to her father and mother. She had blonde hair and blue eyes.
One day, it was her birthday and she wanted to wear a very pretty dress. She ran to her closet and picked a splendid dress. Behind the dress there was a gold box which said "birthday jewellery." She opened the jewellery box and saw an outstanding anklet. She had never seen it before. She took it out of the box and slipped it on her right ankle. Then she hurried downstairs for her birthday breakfast. On the way down, she tripped and ripped her pretty dress. "Oh no," she said. "I wish I had a better life." Suddenly a portal opened. She fell into it. There were clocks and pianos and all sorts of strange instruments. She sank down to the bottom and landed in some sort of school. The teacher said, "this is a new student called Angelina..."


  1. Great piece of writing. Good use of speech marks.

  2. Talofa Oli and Maya, I thought the title of your narrative was very different and I wanted to read on to find out how Oli got an enchanted ankelt. So it's a gift...nice orientation and as Angelina falls down the stairs the portal opens and she ends up at a and then what?? Good sentence structure and I like the graphic of Angelians right ankle with the anklet. An interesting piece of writing Oli and Maya.

  3. Wow!! What a fantastic narrative Oli and Maya; I can't wait to find out what happens to Angelina next.

    I'm very proud.

    Tania ( Oli's mum )